Candy and Confirmation

This week was a little crazy ( I know you are all thinking, how is that different from any other week in the classroom, right?).  I have really been feeling the pressure to "have it ALL together".  It seems like every time I think I am close to feeling like I might make it, something else is placed on my never ending to do list from administration.  So many things are asked of us and so many times we are expected to just know stuff that a "real" teacher does.  I guess where I am going with this train of thought is this;  I haven't felt like a "real", college degree toting, acronym knowing, teacher. I feel like a student most of the time. Teaching is kind of like parenting, it doesn't come with a handbook that explains everything we need to know.  At some point, instinct just takes over and we DO. Everyday I learn something I feel like I should have already known.  I may not know how to collect and analyze data in the format I am supposed to, I may not fully understand how to differentiate or at least not know how to write differentiation in the terminology I am expected to, nor do I understand the importance of endless meetings that leave me with more questions than answers.  However, I do understand my content area and kids. What I KNOW is this:  kids want to know where they stand with you, what your expectations are of them, and what the consequences are if they choose not to abide by your rules.  I have spent the past 7 weeks trying to form relationships, model behavior I expect of my students, and as difficult as it may be, hold students accountable for the choices they make.  I feel like I am chasing my tail most days and wonder "are they getting it"?  This week in class we were doing a review of chapter 5: Infection Control.  In the middle of the review I remembered that I had bought some candy for the kids for good behavior during our GAPPS review visit.  I passed out the candy and said "Thank you".  I could hear some murmuring among students, so I listened.  I was afraid they didn't like the candy I bought.  Much to my surprise, they were talking about me.  The kids were saying, "she is a good teacher, she cares about us, she treats us nice, she respects us, she does what she says" and the like.  I knew at that moment I am in the right place.  I may not have a college degree or know how to express myself in the terms others are so comfortable with, but I do understand the importance of sharing what I DO know and that a little goes a long way if your actions speak louder than your words.