There is one student that I remember from last year,very smart and talented. Her mother is constantly checking on her and ready to help when she can. This particular student did not do well on the final exam last year. Her mother called me, very upset, remarking that she found very difficult to believe that her daughter could get such a grade. I am coming to the assumption in a moment. The student was asked, what happened. Her reply puzzled me for a while; " I am tired".
Now the same student is in my class this year. She still professes that her goal is to become doctor. The assumption that I made is that she really wants to become a doctor. When asked, she has all the right answers. But she only does what is minimally required. She does not listen in class because she believes she already knows the answers. Her actions do not line up with the desired goals. In fact from listening to her mother, I understand that to become a doctor is really her mother's goal.
This young lady has family support, good grades and very active in school but she does not have passion for the profession. I assumed that when you have the resources that a student will succeed or wants to succeed. What I see is that no matter if the student is surrounded by resources, if they do not have the passion or dedication than you cannot make them into something they are not. I had the connection all wrong. It is not the resouces that ultimately will lead to a student's success, but the student has to to have a desire to meet their own goals. No matter what I see in a student, I cannot do it for them. Like this young lady, her mom is doing all the work; she on the other hand, watches the work being done.
I totally agree with you Freda! I had a kid just today that told me he wanted to go into construction but his mom wants him to be a dentist. He is a senior already and has no direction. I try to expose him to as much as possible so he can make an informed decision. Some of these parents need to realize that a kid cannot be made to go into something they hate. I also hate the fact that counselors place kids in our classes tring to make them "find something they like". Students usually have a pretty good idea of what they like.
ReplyDeleteWow Freda, you really hit the nail on the head with this comment. I don't believe I have every heard this "all too often" dynamic between a parent and child expressed so well. You know, as a parent it is hard to find a balance between encouragement and enablement. Many parents want their child to succeed so much that they will actually do the work for the child thinking they are helping when in essence they are doing their children a grave disservice.
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