Field Trip #3

Hello everyone. Tomorrow is Field trip #3 for my students and we will be going to a Maximum security prison. Normally, this field trip would come at the end of the unit when my students are more familiar with inmate culture, prison slang, prison designs and chain of command. I pray that this will work out well in spite of. You know.."putting the horse before the cart". Looking back, it seems like I've done a lot of "bass ackwards" things this semester and for that my game has been thrown off alot. I don't know if it is because of my exposure to NTI and my desire to do everything exactly by the books or my missing the field and what it had to offer. I am most grateful for my NTI experience and I have said on many occasions that a lot of what is being taught..I did some of it even before I knew what it was. I thought I was just being creative and "non-traditional". My problem has always been knowing how to close out a lesson and move on to the next. Now before anyone takes this post the wrong way, I am not discounting anyone or anything taught..I'm just saying "I'm all over the place" and can't seem to get back on track. It's as if I'm in an inner battle between doing what I know and doing what I know should be done. While some of the approaches work well, others do not. I think this is mainly because of the population that I work with. I could easily join the bandwagon and say what everyone wants to hear or just be honest and say what I experience. My question is when will I be able to conceptualize the "big picture"? There was a time when I loved teaching, now it seems like a chore. Is it suppose to be this way? Will it stay this way forever? While I am forever in search of a silver lining, I have so many questions along the way that are not being addressed. Hopefully the answers will come soon. I will keep everything I have crossed and hope for the best.
On another note, tomorrow is one of my student's birthday and he is going to prison (well half of the class is for the field trip)...I know right. That is the running joke in class and the punchline is ..let this be your first and last birthday spent in prison. The kids are having fun with it. I just might get him a prison birthday cake from the vending machine...a snickers bar in between 2 honeybuns...yum yum..good prison food..zoom zooms and wham whams (prison slang for cookies and pies). Have a great week and talk to you all on tomorrow provided I'm let out of prison on time. LOL!